How to Get Along with People: 12 tips

Getting Along with People

1. Start every conversation in a friendly way. Wouldn’t you like to be approached in that way?
2. Use a positive, soothing tone of voice. Studies show that tone of voice is the most important predictor in how well or poorly a conversation will go.
3. Maintain positive or neutral facial expressions and body posture. Studies show this is the second-most important factor in positive communications. Smile!
4. Listen first, speak second. This saves time and avoids misunderstandings. “Leaders listen” is the old expression.
5. Think about your request from the other person’s point of view. Show what you’re asking of them benefits them in some way.
6. Respect others by keeping an open mind and listening to them fully and thoughtfully before replying.
7. Use “I” statements, instead of “You” statements. “I” statements let the other person know how you’re feeling, while “You” statements point fingers of blame.
8. Find common ground in problems and then try hard to problem-solve in a cooperative way. Don’t back people into corners where they can’t save face.
9. Avoid negative, extreme and confrontational words. Get rid of habits of using words and expressions like “never”, “always”, “bad”, “mean”, “that’s garbage”, etc. Instead, seek to make the same point, but from the opposite direction, pointing to positive behaviours, and using positive language.
10. Don’t start or participate in gossip. It’s harmful, and people who gossip can’t be trusted not to gossip about you.
11. Make promises sparingly, and keep them faithfully, no matter the cost.
12. Regularly review your own behaviour. Without regular review, we’ll be slow to consistently use the above suggestions. Specifically imagine changing the conversation that went bad to one that went good – which of the above noted suggestions will you use next time, and at what point in the conversation? Regular review of this type will result in rapid improvement.


... another random musing